Here's my latest news and jokes update

I've just been fitted with a new hearing aid.

Here's my latest "Friday Offering"

Welcome to the Bob Hambleton web site,  

Scroll down to this WEEK'S FRIDAY OFFERING

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Here’s the latest "Offering" for 19-04-2019

Greetings

Good progress with the next book will now be delayed, a little.

      I am now well into the beginning of “Sarina’s Siege” but the arrival of the ‘proof-read’ manuscript of “Sarina’s Farmer” means my activity will be directed on getting that prepared for the publishers asap.

      Amanda, my illustrator, has created a wonderful interpretation of what I had in mind for the cover design; it’s going to be as striking as the previous three covers in the series.

My Hearing-Aid problem has been resolved.

      A couple of months ago the hearing aid mould that fits in my left ear broke in half, (not guilty!)  I was ‘measured’ for a replacement, (they squirted gunge in the ear,) but before the new one arrived the old one, without the retaining ‘tang’ fell out and was lost.  This meant that I had to go back and have both hearing aid and mould replaced and to day I attended the Paisley RAH Hospital.  They fitted the new assembly and then decided to also replace the right hearing aid and, on my request increased the overall volume of both so I shouldn’t struggle to hear the television at the volume that is comfortable for Helen.

     When she had done the adjustment the audio nurse asked if I could hear her. I said, 'yes,' and she then asked me if I could also hear my wife, sitting across the room.  I told her, ‘yes I can, but then you can’t have everything!’  Despite this Helen is still talking at / to me.

  Enough, to business:-

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Here’s  an extra  based on the above this week.

     Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

     To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

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Graffiti

From the Italian word “graffito”  =  a scratch, first used to describe Pompeii wall markings.

            “Is there any intelligent life on earth?  -  No I’m only visiting.“  -  Unattributed.

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Some  more of  The World’s Stupidest Signs

(Some of these may be duplicates of previous examples from different sources.)

            “For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a creche on the first floor.“  -  Sign at a conference.

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Notable Quotations

            “No one goes to that restaurant anymore – it’s too crowded.“  -  Yogi Berra

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Best One-liners. 

           He slapped his two inches on the doctor’s desk. The doctor said, "What is wrong with it?" "It's swollen,” he replied.

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Funny and Interesting Facts  (Truth of some yet to be confirmed, some already proved false – Bob.)

·         Ethernet is a registered trademark of Xerox, Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.

·         Bill Gates' first business was Traff-O-Data, a company that created machines which recorded the number of cars passing a given point on a road.

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All the best,

 Bob, Dad, Uncle or Cousin (which ever applies!)

( www.bobhambleton.com )

 

 The origins of my “Friday Offering”

    Some years ago a friend started sending out the odd joke (some were very odd) which he called “Something for Friday.”  Since I had friends and relations that he didn’t know I started passing them on, calling mine a “Friday Offering.” I rapidly progressed to finding my own material and my original supplier then ceased his weekly publication but over time my small distribution list has grown and is still growing.  Encouraged by the feedback and contributions I have received, the ‘Offering’ has grown and the format become established to be my latest news and wry observations, a collection of jokes and amusing quotations.  I am told that it gets forwarded to every continent (except Antarctica, anyone know someone down there?)

    If you would like to be added to the "Friday" list  and receive these 'Offerings' on a regular basis, (your email address will not be made available to anyone else,) then please e-mail me by clicking this link  bobhambleton@aol.com

 

Bob Hambleton's novel, “Sarina’s Challenge,” ISBN No. 978-1-911113-48-5 the first book in the Sarina series is available from all usual outlets or direct from the distribtors, simply click here:-  http://ow.ly/Y7MV302qc9n

 Contact Bob at  Friday@BobHambleton.com

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DONE Sending...

Bob | Reply 04.11.2017 15.54

Hi Maureen, thanks for the message, nice to hear from you.

Maureen Pugh | Reply 04.11.2017 11.20

Sorry no message lately. I seemed to have lost items on my laptop. Aileen keept me posted on your activities and have now picked up your Friday offering

GINA GRAHAM | Reply 16.02.2017 18.36

Hope you feel better soon and we see you next Wednesday at Nova Scotia Folk Club. Take care. Gina x

Bob H 16.02.2017 19.30

Thanks for that, wecerytainly hope to be ther. Bob x

Gina Graham | Reply 08.07.2016 12.31

Thank you for your mention of Nova Scotia Folk Club. It's a pleasure having you and Helen visit on a regular basis and hearing your great songs Bob. C u next wk

Peter Tiffany | Reply 05.02.2016 08.34

Hi Bob, I hope life is good for you. It would be great to know you are OK, you should have our email address somewhere Park Street NW.

Bob hambleton 08.07.2016 15.59

Sorry not to have replied sooner Peter. Yes we are fine and I do have your email address. We are happily ensconced in Scotland surrounded by Helen's family.

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Latest comments

04.11 | 15:54

Hi Maureen, thanks for the message, nice to hear from you.

...
04.11 | 11:20

Sorry no message lately. I seemed to have lost items on my laptop. Aileen keept me posted on your activities and have now picked up your Friday offering

...
16.02 | 19:30

Thanks for that, wecerytainly hope to be ther. Bob x

...
16.02 | 18:36

Hope you feel better soon and we see you next Wednesday at Nova Scotia Folk Club. Take care. Gina x

...
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