Here's my latest news and jokes update

The members of Erskine Writers who enjoyed their “mince Pies” party.

Here's my latest "Friday Offering"

Welcome to the Bob Hambleton web site,  

Scroll down to this WEEK'S FRIDAY OFFERING

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Here’s the latest "Offering" for 15-12-2017

Greetings,

I finally took delivery of my ‘repaired’ new car.

     Despite promises that they would call when my car was ready, I had to ring the Renault Garage only to be told that the car had been ready the day before.  I was finally able to pick it up on Saturday and then finish off packing the things I need in it.  Despite the delays and the disappointment of not having it for our trip ‘down south,’ I am very pleased with the choice I made three months ago.

No snow in Erskine but it’s very cold.

     Unlike most other parts of the British Isles, Erskine did not get any fresh snow during the past week, but the temperature was well below zero for several days in a row.  We needed to salt and grit our drive to make the slope safe for walkers and to get our cars out.

Erskine Writers celebrate Christmas time.

     After a break of several weeks, I was able to attend this week’s Erskine |Writer’s meeting.  Since it is the last meeting of the year it was their traditional “Mince Pies” party. 

     Our president, Hillary, decided that instead of everybody bringing cards for all the other members, each person should bring just one, which contained something special in the way of a saying, a quotation, a suitable thought or a poem.  The members would then select just one card to take with them as ‘minding’ from the group.

     This was a brilliant idea and worked really well.  (I think other clubs and groups might think of doing something similar; it avoids getting a plethora of cards quite apart from saving all the effort and expense buying and writing a great number of cards.)

  Enough, to business:-

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Graffiti  from the Italian word “graffito”  =  a scratch,  

first used to describe the wall markings found in Pompeii.

           “You don’t buy beer, you rent it.”

                                                           Unattributed

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Some  more of  The World’s Stupidest Signs

“KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM UNNECESSARY BUTTONS FOR YOU”

                                                                                                            Tokyo Hotel

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Notable Quotations

           “Jogging is for people who are not intelligent enough to watch Breakfast Television.”

                                                                                                            Victoria Wood

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Puns for Educated Minds

     16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

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Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (A true story)

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity.  The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.  American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the Windshields of their new high speed trains.

     Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.  When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken shot out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow.

     The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.  You're going to love this.

     Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:  "Defrost the Bloody chicken."

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All the best, 

Bob, Dad, Uncle or Cousin (which ever applies!)

( www.bobhambleton.com )

The origins of my “Friday Offering”

    Some years ago a friend started sending out the odd joke (some were very odd) which he called “Something for Friday.”  Since I had friends and relations that he didn’t know I started passing them on, calling mine a “Friday Offering.” I rapidly progressed to finding my own material and my original supplier then ceased his weekly publication but over time my small distribution list has grown and is still growing.  Encouraged by the feedback and contributions I have received, the ‘Offering’ has grown and the format become established to be my latest news and wry observations, a collection of jokes and amusing quotations.  I am told that it gets forwarded to every continent (except Antarctica, anyone know someone down there?)

    If you would like to be added to the "Friday" list  and receive these 'Offerings' on a regular basis, (your email address will not be made available to anyone else,) then please e-mail me by clicking this link  bobhambleton@aol.com

 

 

Bob Hambleton's novel, “Sarina’s Challenge,” ISBN No. 978-1-911113-48-5 the first book in the Sarina series is available from all usual outlets or direct from the distribtors, simply click here:-  http://ow.ly/Y7MV302qc9n

 Contact Bob at  Friday@BobHambleton.com

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DONE Sending...

Bob | Reply 04.11.2017 15.54

Hi Maureen, thanks for the message, nice to hear from you.

Maureen Pugh | Reply 04.11.2017 11.20

Sorry no message lately. I seemed to have lost items on my laptop. Aileen keept me posted on your activities and have now picked up your Friday offering

GINA GRAHAM | Reply 16.02.2017 18.36

Hope you feel better soon and we see you next Wednesday at Nova Scotia Folk Club. Take care. Gina x

Bob H 16.02.2017 19.30

Thanks for that, wecerytainly hope to be ther. Bob x

Gina Graham | Reply 08.07.2016 12.31

Thank you for your mention of Nova Scotia Folk Club. It's a pleasure having you and Helen visit on a regular basis and hearing your great songs Bob. C u next wk

Peter Tiffany | Reply 05.02.2016 08.34

Hi Bob, I hope life is good for you. It would be great to know you are OK, you should have our email address somewhere Park Street NW.

Bob hambleton 08.07.2016 15.59

Sorry not to have replied sooner Peter. Yes we are fine and I do have your email address. We are happily ensconced in Scotland surrounded by Helen's family.

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Latest comments

04.11 | 15:54

Hi Maureen, thanks for the message, nice to hear from you.

...
04.11 | 11:20

Sorry no message lately. I seemed to have lost items on my laptop. Aileen keept me posted on your activities and have now picked up your Friday offering

...
16.02 | 19:30

Thanks for that, wecerytainly hope to be ther. Bob x

...
16.02 | 18:36

Hope you feel better soon and we see you next Wednesday at Nova Scotia Folk Club. Take care. Gina x

...
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