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Here’s the latest "Offering" for 15-12-2017
I finally took delivery of my ‘repaired’ new car.
Despite promises that they would call when my car was ready, I
had to ring the Renault Garage only to be told that the car had been ready the day before. I was finally able to pick it up on Saturday and then finish off packing the things I need in it. Despite the delays and the disappointment of not having
it for our trip ‘down south,’ I am very pleased with the choice I made three months ago.
No snow in Erskine but it’s very cold.
other parts of the British Isles, Erskine did not get any fresh snow during the past week, but the temperature was well below zero for several days in a row. We needed to salt and grit our drive to make the slope safe for walkers and to get our cars
Erskine Writers celebrate Christmas time.
After a break of several weeks, I was able to attend this week’s Erskine |Writer’s meeting.
Since it is the last meeting of the year it was their traditional “Mince Pies” party.
Our president, Hillary, decided that instead of everybody bringing cards for all the other members, each person should bring
just one, which contained something special in the way of a saying, a quotation, a suitable thought or a poem. The members would then select just one card to take with them as ‘minding’ from the group.
a brilliant idea and worked really well. (I think other clubs and groups might think of doing something similar; it avoids getting a plethora of cards quite apart from saving all the effort and expense buying and writing a great number of cards.)
Enough, to business:-
Graffiti from the Italian word “graffito” = a scratch,
first used to describe the wall markings found in Pompeii.
“You don’t buy beer, you rent it.”
Some more of The World’s Stupidest Signs
“KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM UNNECESSARY BUTTONS FOR YOU”
is for people who are not intelligent enough to watch Breakfast Television.”
Puns for Educated Minds
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (A true story)
Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets
all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the Windshields of
their new high speed trains.
Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken shot out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof
shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified Yanks sent
Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions. You're going to love this.
Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:
"Defrost the Bloody chicken."
All the best,
Bob, Dad, Uncle or Cousin (which ever applies!)
( www.bobhambleton.com )
of my “Friday Offering”
Some years ago a friend started sending out the odd joke (some were very odd) which he called “Something for Friday.” Since I had friends and relations that he didn’t
know I started passing them on, calling mine a “Friday Offering.” I rapidly progressed to finding my own material and my original supplier then ceased his weekly publication but over time my small distribution list has grown and is still growing.
Encouraged by the feedback and contributions I have received, the ‘Offering’ has grown and the format become established to be my latest news and wry observations, a collection of jokes and amusing quotations. I am told that it gets forwarded
to every continent (except Antarctica, anyone know someone down there?)
If you would like to be added to the "Friday" list and receive these 'Offerings' on a regular basis, (your email address will not be made available
to anyone else,) then please e-mail me by clicking this link email@example.com
Bob Hambleton's novel, “Sarina’s Challenge,” ISBN
No. 978-1-911113-48-5 the first book in the Sarina series is available from all usual outlets or direct from the distribtors, simply click here:- http://ow.ly/Y7MV302qc9n
Contact Bob at Friday@BobHambleton.com